Absolutley DESPERATE to pee

[IsItWrong123]

As a mum of three, I’m pretty knowledgeable about pregnancy. After all, I’ve been through it three times over. And for me, the worst bit wasn’t the stretch marks or the cravings, but the constant need to pee.
During my pregnancies, I found myself in some tricky situations, but never had I experienced such desperation as this:
I was playing with my youngest, Cindy, and I had a bit of a headache so I drank a tall glass of water along with my paracetamol. The water worked its way through me fast, but as I got up to go to the bathroom, Cindy began wailing. I comforted her and rocked her and soothed her, even though my desperation to pee was rapidly increasing. Sighing, I gave in, clamped my thighs together, unbuttoned my shirt, and breastfed her. Thankfully, this shut her up.
I placed her back in her playpen and was about to dash to the loo when my son, Cody, came in crying because he’d had an accident. I crossed my legs, consoled him and changed him but the running water when I was washing my hands after nearly finished me off. I really had to go! I ran to the bathroom and banged on the locked door.
“In the shower! Won’t be a minute!” sang my husband, Ross.
Before I could reply, Cody ran up yelling about floods. I hurried downstairs to find the kitchen full of water; in my urgent dash to the loo, I had forgotten to turn the tap off.
Oh God! All that water…with my hands pushed between my thighs, I dashed back to the bathroom.
“Let me in!” I hollered.
“I’m taking a dump!” replied my charming hubby.
But if I waited on more minute there would be a second accident.
“Just let me in!” I shouted, stripping off my jeans and knickers while trying to keep my hands firmly in place over my pee-hole.
“I’m on the toilet!” yelled Pete.
At this point, I swear to God, I was about to burst.
“Open the F****** door right now or I’ll divorce you!” I screeched, dancing around half-naked.
I heard the lock click and hobbled in to find Pete sitting on the loo, completely baffled.
Holding it in was such an effort, I was doubled over with pain as I climbed into the bath.
And then…well, then I let go! It was Nigeria Falls between my legs!

What do you think?? Were any of your pregnancy desperations worse than that?!

[yuqingeng]

Ossamas wish
While running from American troops, across the desert, Ossama stumbles across an ornate jar.

Curiously he opens it and a beautiful female genie comes out.

"Oh master, thank you for freeing me. I will grant you a wish"

"I don't need any wish from a female,” he said haughtily

This anoys the genie but she insists that he make a wish.

"Oh very well. I want to wakeup in the morning with three American white women."

So the next morning he woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbit, Tanya Harding and Hillary Clinton. His dick was cut off, his legs were broke and he had no medical insurance.
Trisodium phosphate

[Captain]

As a mum of three, I’m pretty knowledgeable about pregnancy. After all, I’ve been through it three times over. And for me, the worst bit wasn’t the stretch marks or the cravings, but the constant need to pee...................................

you are such a F****** weirdo.
obsessed with wee desperation.

[Guest]

As a mum of three, I’m pretty knowledgeable about pregnancy. After all, I’ve been through it three times over. And for me, the worst bit wasn’t the stretch marks or the cravings, but the constant need to pee.
During my pregnancies, I found myself in some tricky situations, but never had I experienced such desperation as this:
I was playing with my youngest, Cindy, and I had a bit of a headache so I drank a tall glass of water along with my paracetamol. The water worked its way through me fast, but as I got up to go to the bathroom, Cindy began wailing. I comforted her and rocked her and soothed her, even though my desperation to pee was rapidly increasing. Sighing, I gave in, clamped my thighs together, unbuttoned my shirt, and breastfed her. Thankfully, this shut her up.
I placed her back in her playpen and was about to dash to the loo when my son, Cody, came in crying because he’d had an accident. I crossed my legs, consoled him and changed him but the running water when I was washing my hands after nearly finished me off. I really had to go! I ran to the bathroom and banged on the locked door.
“In the shower! Won’t be a minute!” sang my husband, Ross.
Before I could reply, Cody ran up yelling about floods. I hurried downstairs to find the kitchen full of water; in my urgent dash to the loo, I had forgotten to turn the tap off.
Oh God! All that water…with my hands pushed between my thighs, I dashed back to the bathroom.
“Let me in!” I hollered.
“I’m taking a dump!” replied my charming hubby.
But if I waited on more minute there would be a second accident.
“Just let me in!” I shouted, stripping off my jeans and knickers while trying to keep my hands firmly in place over my pee-hole.
“I’m on the toilet!” yelled Pete.
At this point, I swear to God, I was about to burst.
“Open the F****** door right now or I’ll divorce you!” I screeched, dancing around half-naked.
I heard the lock click and hobbled in to find Pete sitting on the loo, completely baffled.
Holding it in was such an effort, I was doubled over with pain as I climbed into the bath.
And then…well, then I let go! It was Nigeria Falls between my legs!

What do you think?? Were any of your pregnancy desperations worse than that?!

I would have waited another minute before opening the door, make you piss yourself!

[Visitor]

As a mum of three, I’m pretty knowledgeable about pregnancy. After all, I’ve been through it three times over. And for me, the worst bit wasn’t the stretch marks or the cravings, but the constant need to pee.
During my pregnancies, I found myself in some tricky situations, but never had I experienced such desperation as this:
I was playing with my youngest, Cindy, and I had a bit of a headache so I drank a tall glass of water along with my paracetamol. The water worked its way through me fast, but as I got up to go to the bathroom, Cindy began wailing. I comforted her and rocked her and soothed her, even though my desperation to pee was rapidly increasing. Sighing, I gave in, clamped my thighs together, unbuttoned my shirt, and breastfed her. Thankfully, this shut her up.
I placed her back in her playpen and was about to dash to the loo when my son, Cody, came in crying because he’d had an accident. I crossed my legs, consoled him and changed him but the running water when I was washing my hands after nearly finished me off. I really had to go! I ran to the bathroom and banged on the locked door.
“In the shower! Won’t be a minute!” sang my husband, Ross.
Before I could reply, Cody ran up yelling about floods. I hurried downstairs to find the kitchen full of water; in my urgent dash to the loo, I had forgotten to turn the tap off.
Oh God! All that water…with my hands pushed between my thighs, I dashed back to the bathroom.
“Let me in!” I hollered.
“I’m taking a dump!” replied my charming hubby.
But if I waited on more minute there would be a second accident.
“Just let me in!” I shouted, stripping off my jeans and knickers while trying to keep my hands firmly in place over my pee-hole.
“I’m on the toilet!” yelled Pete.
At this point, I swear to God, I was about to burst.
“Open the F****** door right now or I’ll divorce you!” I screeched, dancing around half-naked.
I heard the lock click and hobbled in to find Pete sitting on the loo, completely baffled.
Holding it in was such an effort, I was doubled over with pain as I climbed into the bath.
And then…well, then I let go! It was Nigeria Falls between my legs!

What do you think?? Were any of your pregnancy desperations worse than that?!

That was hot and gave me a boner. Thanks!