My Boyfriend Controls Me

Charlene writes:

Hi, let me get straight to the point.My boyfriend & i have been dating for five years , i had alot of friends before but now can't see them , call them or anything.

At first i thought he wants us to be more closer , but now i can't handle it anymore .Hes a soccer player & goes out alot he never takes me with him when he goes to play but his mates takes their girlfriends with them .

Now when I want to go out with friends or even my sister he disagrees or when i do get the chance to go he'll call the whole time asking when am i coming back and wanting to know who else is there & lots more.

I think this is worse i don't have sex with him so much anymore because he makes me feel that sex is the main thing in our relationship. However he sometimes sleeps over at my place and i've discoverd at night he sticks his finger or even his penis in my privates.I have asked him about it & he first denied it but then said he does not know why he does that it's just that he is a man & has needs. I don't now what to do i'am afraid of him.

I need help & to the things i've mentioned above it's painfull & i am so messed up now .

Yin's Answer

Firstly what your boyfriend is doing to you at night is very wrong.....and also illegal! If he is forcing himself on you without your consent then this is rape and is very serious. I urge you to get out of this relationship now.

I know it's hard to stand up for yourself when you are in love but this relationship is not healthy and seems to be making you unhappy. A happy relationship is one where both partners can be themselves whilst also being together and you are letting your boyfriend control you when he has no right to.

I'd suggest you try talking this through with someone else- like a close friend or your mother. But you really do need to put an end to this now.

Yang's Answer

Get out now. This boy's behaviour is very very wrong and you are best off well away from him.

As Yin said...what he is doing is sick and disturbing. He obviously has issues with women and control and you really don't want to be involved in that at all so get rid of him.

I know it's easy for me to say and being in love makes it harder to do the right thing but I promise you will be much happier without him controlling your every move. Tell your sister or your friends how you feel and I'm sure they will support you through this. Good luck!